Love... and Other Reasons to Panic

A corpse lies on a living room floor. Our leads, Alex and Sarah are desperately trying to figure out what to do with the deceased Punjabi man Roger. Sarah is in panic, Alex tries to calm her down. Meanwhile, they start debating whether Roger is dead and whether Punjab is part of India or Pakistan. Then, suddenly, the body disappears. We flashback to Alex and Sarah's childhoods, they've been friends since kindergarten, and through high school. Both are smart, adventurous and hilarious. As kids, they have both been traumatized: Alex by the fact that the only picture of him allowed in the house was his embryonic ultrasound image; Sarah by the fact that her parents were swingers. As teens, Alex and Sarah are pranksters in school (Sarah hands in her assignments in Sanskrit) and outside (importuning a parking officer who is ticketing a car that does not even belong to them). The two lose touch with each other after high school. Sarah travels to the orient, while Alex becomes a stand up comedian. Then, one day, at a party, Sarah and Alex meet again. Sarah thinks it's more than just a coincidence and decides that they should keep in touch. They start getting to know each other better. However, Alex has an issue with Sarah's belief in astrology, the supernatural and various "esoteric" creeds. He particularly objects to her having a spiritual guide or "guru" (Roger, the man from the first scene) who, in Alex's view, is a phony and only wants to have sex with her. Alex and Sarah fall in love and move in together. Their experiences take them through trials and tribulations (as when Alex is hired to write a musical based on the life of Saddam Hussein, complete with a chorus of dancing girls called 'Al-Qaedettes,' or when he wants to move into a haunted house, which is very cheap, but which Sarah refuses to set foot into). Flash-forward: back to the living room, with Roger's body on the floor. We find out that Roger had made a pass at Sarah, who then hit him, making him collapse. While Alex and Sarah argue over where Roger is from (India or Pakistan) the man recovers and runs away. Just as Alex had predicted, Sarah's "guru", turns out to be nothing more than a snake-oil salesman. This creates a rift between them and they split up. However, Sarah eventually realizes that Alex is her soul mate and the two end up back together again for good.